#balance

How to STOP & Reduce Your Work Stress

Have you been told to reduce your work stress?

You’re not alone. Stress has increased in the workplace.The total economic impact of stress to US employers was estimated at $300 billion according to The American Institute of Stress.

Stress is a big problem that affects all areas of your life, not just work. Most people will ignore it and keep pushing through until a health issue arises but it doesn’t have to be that way.

There are a lot of things you can do to reduce your stress: meditate, exercise, take deep breaths, get the sleep you need at night, eat better and so much more.

These are all also good things to do regularly to help keep you from bringing the stress into your body. Which is what I’d like you to do. STOP the stress from coming into your body and your energy.

Understand Your Stress to STOP & Reduce it

1. Pay attention to what makes you feel stressed.

I’m sure it’s going to involve work and probably some family members. Maybe even money. Those are usually the top three culprits.What makes you agitated, nervous, etc. What makes you feel stressed? You have to identify what starts the stress within you so you can stop it.

2. Notice HOW the stress makes you feel.

Obviously, not good, right? You may feel overwhelmed, anxious, jittery, like you can’t stop moving. How does the stress make you feel? Again, you want to recognize what it feels like so you can stop it.

Once you know these two things:

I want you to know when you are in situations that make you feel stressed and how that stress feels so you can stop it before you energetically let the stress into your being. – I bet you haven’t heard that before!!

Stress is an energy. It’s a pattern. It’s familiar. It’s energetically how you tuck things away that you can’t or don’t want to deal with in the moment. But you store it in your body and it creates physical ailments and diseases.

An example of letting the stress in:

Let’s say you get another task at work with another deadline you can’t possibly complete in time with your workload. This will make you feel stressed. You don’t have the time, energy or bandwidth to take this on. You then move into feeling the stress. You may feel overwhelmed, you may want to give up, you may feel panicked at telling your partner or friends you can’t hang out again because you have to work more and you start dreading their response. I’ve seen that a lot.

In this very common example the stressor was more work with an unrealistic deadline. The stress felt overwhelming.

What can you do instead?

Prevent the stressor.

By knowing what makes you stressed, you can create boundaries and plans to help you when the stressor appears. My clients are high performers and when more work is given to them when they’re already overbooked, overworked and on tight time schedules, instead of stepping into the stress cycle and taking it on when they know it’s not possible will create a boundary.

“I’m sorry. There is no way I can complete this by this deadline. I have this task due by this date, and this task due by this date. In order to take this on AND complete it on time, who can take on one of my other tasks or help me with this workload?”

It will feel weird at first, but this is how changes go. And your employer – they have NO idea how overwhelmed or overworked you feel if you don’t tell them HONESTLY. They need to know. They don’t want you out on worker’s comp for stress leave or leaving because you’re too overworked. Tell them.

What to do when you don’t PREVENT the stressor:

By knowing what your stressors are you can prevent them. If you take the stressor on and start to feel the stress, you have to let the stress go. It’s an energy that you don’t need to carry.

How to let the stress go:

Close your eyes, bring in the White Light through your body and imagine letting the energy of the stress go into the light. I took this task on and I shouldn’t have. I release the energy I am now carrying from that. I am free. And then refill your energy with a soft blue light. I am peace. I am calm. I am balance.

Your key to success is to not let the stressor bring the stress feeling into your body and energy in the first place. You do that with boundaries and having a plan in place to protect your time and energy.

The more boundaries and plans you create, the less stress you’ll feel. And then you can stop letting stress control your body, feelings, emotions, time, relationships and more.

There is no badge of honor for feeling or carrying stress. It negatively impacts all areas of your life. That’s why the best way forward for you is to stop it before it starts AND to catch the stress when you’re letting that energy into your body.

7 Tips to Have MORE Energy to Get Through Your Workday

Do you hit a dip in your energy at work every day at 3:00? You probably even wake up feeling low energy.

As a high performer that has a tendency to overwork, you’re typically spending more energy than you’re replacing each day.

Think about your energy like you do any of your batteries.

At some point, you stop using the device so it can get a full recharge. When do you do that for your body? And the more important question – when do you let yourself FULLY recharge?

I know what it’s like to overwork and run below empty. I’ve reached my breaking point twice in my career overworking as a high performer. I guide my high performing clients to create sustainable work/life balance in their lives.

7 Tips to Have More Energy to Get Through Your Workday

As you go through this list, note what is the most important to you AND what you don’t think is a priority as well.

1. Have a start time for your workday.

Everyday have a set time or a moment where you actually start working. This should not be when you first wake up. Be intentional when you wake up so you create a calm and balanced start to your day that can only make your productivity even better during your work day.

I have a client that woke up and started thinking about work. She was EXHAUSTED. Now she has a set start day each day and this has been a game changer for her in her productivity and energy levels.

2. Take your breaks.

You are not given breaks to work through them. Obviously if you’re on a roll and knocking things out, that’s not the best time to take a break. BUT when you find yourself getting tired, your mind starts wandering, you’re hungry, need to go to the bathroom, etc. use that time to take a break. Breaks allow you to recharge, reassess what you’re working on and create better results. Take them!

Most of my clients don’t take breaks before working with me. I get it! You get things done and more things appear. There are more things to do than time. But you’re a human, your body cannot sit at the computer for too long – plus your productivity goes down. Breaks are good.

Go for a quick walk. Stop and smell the flowers. Go outside for a minute. Whatever you do – take your breaks!

3. Eat your lunch WITHOUT working.

The majority of my clients either skip lunch altogether and find themselves eating junk at 3 o’clock or they work through lunch.

If you take your lunch break and work through it – you have a working lunch which is okay once in awhile but not everyday.

Lunch is a time to fuel your body, recharge, reassess your day and reprioritze tasks when you come back from lunch with a fresh perspective.

4. Have an end time for your workday.

Having an end time for your workday is essential so you STOP working. If you don’t do this, you’ll find yourself working weird hours and when you shouldn’t be. I can’t tell you the last time I had a client start working with me that had a STOP time on their workday.

What you don’t finish today, you can do tomorrow or another day. You are here for more than your work. Plus when you stop working, you give yourself time to play, recharge, relax, etc and that allows you to come back to work the next day more productive.

It doesn’t matter if the end time is the same everyday or set on certain days. Have an end time. This will help you prevent burnout.

5. Do at least one thing everyday that brings you joy.

I know this is hard for my high performers to even bring to mind when asked what brings them joy, but it’s very necessary. What are you working so hard for?

Again, you are here for more than your work. When work is your hyper focus, it’s hard to know what outside of work would bring you joy or happiness but in order to have work-life balance, there must be a life part happening.

Try new things, do things that make you happy. Play. Have something to do other than work outside your work hours. Give yourself something to look forward to – that’ll help you stop working.

6. Get enough sleep at night.

One of the big areas my high performers try to make up on time is by skipping sleep. As you know, the more sleep you get, the better you feel, the better you respond, the more productive you are.

One of my clients would read instead of sleep once the kids and husband were in bed. It was her time to do something for just her. The problem – she wasn’t getting the sleep she needed at night. The book would pull her in and she’d be up way later than she wanted to be and she was exhausted the next day. That affected her patience, her productivity and was an old pattern she was done repeating. Now she has the tools to get to bed at a time that supports her AND normal hours to read and do things just for her.

Sleep is a great way to recharge your body. Don’t skimp on this. Especially since lack of sleep can add to stress, something else you’re trying to reduce.

7. Make self care a priority.

Self care is HOW you recharge. This is what stops you from feeling overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted.

I find that a lot of high performers don’t know what counts as self-care. I define it as an activity that gives you energy. It has nothing to do with work or taking care of anyone or anything else. It is purely for you to recharge your energy.

Getting your hair or nails done while checking messages or emails is not going to count. Going for a walk without checking on anything work related does count.

Ideally, I’d love for you to implement every tip I just went over immediately. But I am very realistic since I work with very busy high performers. I’d love for you to pick one thing from this list and start doing that tomorrow. Tell me what you’re going to do tomorrow below, I’m holding you accountable.

Now look at what you didn’t think was a priority from the list above and dive deep and ask yourself why that isn’t a priority for you.

Every tip I gave you is very realistic and every high performer I work with is doing every single one of these things and noticing a huge difference in their lives.

Remember, overworking does not give you more energy. It spends your energy, no matter how much you love your work. The more energy you overuse each day, the less energy you start off with the next morning. This continues to compound until you reach your breaking point or until you burnout. Burnout is completely preventable.

How to: Turn Off Work & STOP Thinking About it

Do you find yourself working in the evening? On the weekends? And even on holidays and vacations?

As a high performer, you have to turn work OFF! If you don’t, you will keep finding your thoughts moving back to what you have to do in your non-work hours.

Let me start off by saying, I’ve been there. I found myself overworking in every single one of my jobs. And I’m sure you’ve heard me say this before but I pushed myself to overwork twice in my career because once wasn’t enough. Now I consider myself a successful high performer and I guide other high performers to be this as well. How do we get you to be one too? You have to turn work off and STOP thinking about it.

WHY are You Overworking?

You’re being driven by what I call your Success Wound™. Your Success Wound is your endless inner drive to do more and make more.

Over the last five years, I’ve written articles, I’ve done podcasts and videos to help you start to recognize and begin to heal your Success Wound. Here’s my most recent Success Wound videoto help you start to recognize what your endless, inner drive here is. It’s one of three things, you’re proving: I am worthy, I am enough or I am love. Any combination or just one of these is ready to be addressed so you can start healing it and stop overworking.

Instead of Overworking…

1. Have your WHY to STOP working defined.

As a high performer, if you don’t have anything else to do, your default is work. I hear this ALL the time. While you enjoy getting things done and you love your work, you are absolutely here for more than your work.

What to do: Define your WHY. To play, to spend time with loved ones, to take care of your body, to learn a new hobby – your why for life outside of work has to be more important than your why for overworking. Make your why something you want to do, something that seems fun or exciting. Find a new hobby that’s exciting for you – something that you’re not going to want to work through.

2. RECHARGE so you don’t burn out.

You aren’t a machine. Even if you love your work, you’re still spending over 100% of your energy there each day, that means you start the next day out with less than 100% energy. This continues on and on.

So many of my clients come to me exhausted and overwhelmed – putting work and other family committments ahead of their own needs. This is not sustainable and a fast path to burnout.

What to do: Block time on your schedule for you to play and recharge, to enjoy this life you’ve been so busy creating. Activities that recharge you are considered self-care. These are activities that give your body and mind more energy: getting enough sleep, taking a nap, eating lunch, eating foods that support your body, getting a massage or facial, exercising, being out in nature, etc.

3. Make your relationships a priority.

Who nags you and tells you to stop working? They’re telling you this is a problem, listen. So many clients have complained to me about their partners nagging them. Do NOT ignore this or brush it off. They are communicating to you and asking you for a change. Make it!

What to do: Block out time in your schedule to spend with them UNITERRUPTED. Spend time with people that give you energy, that do fun things with you and make you happy. Enjoy this time with your loved ones and the memories you’ll make together.

4. You’re here for more than your work.

No one says on their deathbed, I’m so glad I overworked. Instead they talk about what they missed out on by working so much. Don’t do that to yourself.

What to do: be as passionate about your life outside of work as you are about your career. Schedule the things on your big to do list so you actually do them. Celebrate your wins and success. Love your life – you’re so busy creating it, be just as busy LOVING it.

You’re only paid to work so many hours. Work those hours and then STOP.

End of Workday Routine to STOP Overworking

How do you create closure to your workday in a way that stops overworking and thinking about work?

By having an end of the the workday routine. This will help you create closure around your workday AND help you stop thinking about work.

Look at your calendar for today. Anything you didn’t complete, move to another day and STOP thinking about it. It’s on your calendar, it’ll get done.
Look at your calendar for tomorrow. Any changes? Anything to add? Now you don’t have to think about your workday tomorrow. You know what’s on your schedule, you’ve adjusted it, let it go.
Say, “My work day is done. I did what I could. Today’s work is complete. Everything else will get done at the perfect time. I am off and now I recharge.”
Let go of work. Let go of work as you drive home. And if you work from home or once you get home from work, go for a short walk. Change the scenery so you can shift your energy. Be intentional in letting go of all your work stress so you don’t carry it over into your personal time.
As you move into your life time of your work/life balance, what do you want to do with the rest of the day? How do you want to spend your time? Exercise, meet someone for dinner, play, do something fun, or read a book. Really, there is no limit to what you can do here as long as it isn’t work related.

Sustainable work-life balance is KEY to create a life that you LOVE. Remember, no matter how much you love your work, you’re still here for more than your work.

3 Tips to Deal with Toxic Co-workers that DRAIN You

Do you have a co-worker, team member or leader that brings everyone down?

When you have to be near them, they affect you. Your energy is affected by those around you.

You can try to avoid these negative and toxic coworkers if at all possible but they still affect you. What do you do?

I was recently asked on a podcast interview, how to deal with a toxic co-worker and my answer wasn’t what he typically hears as a response. The only way to deal with a toxic co-worker is by not letting them have ACCESS to your energy.

One of the most important things for you to do is to pay attention to your energy.

Who just dumped into your energy field? Who just lowered your vibration? Who just made you feel awful?

Here’s the thing, no matter where you are or how toxic a work environment can be, you ALWAYS have control over your thoughts, words, actions and your energy.

I’ve worked with my fair share of toxic co-workers and leaders in my career. I find the best way to approach this is by being aware of your energy and not letting them impact yours.

3 Tips for Dealing with Toxic Co-workers that DRAIN You

1. Pay attention to your energy.

How is your energy? Did you get enough sleep last night? Did you skip any meals? Are you having any relationship problems? Is something bothering you?

I ask, because all these things affect your energy. If your energy isn’t balanced, aligned or grounded, you will be more easily triggered and your toxic co-workers can easily affect you. You want to make sure you’re doing what you can to be in a good place energetically. Make sure your body feels taken care of, be in a good place with your relationships, make self-care a priority.

If you know something negatively impacts your energy, limit exposure to it. And the flip side, do more things that give you positive energy.

It’s a good idea to start your day with a meditation, even a quick one so that when you get to work, you are starting strong. Here’s a 5 minute meditation to help you start your workday.

When your energy in a good place because you’ll not only respond better to a toxic co-worker or leader but you’ll feel better. And this really is everything.

2. Don’t let their energy come into yours.

Imagine that when you have an interaction with someone, your energy mixes together, it kinda blends together during that interaction.

You really don’t want to do this with a toxic co-worker or leader. You do not want to take any of their energy on. You also don’t want to build an energetic bubble, wall or fortress to protect you as these all use your energy and not in the best way.

Instead, imagine it not being able to come at you or towards you. It’s their energy. Let them keep it. This prevents their energy from mingling with yours and makes them have to stay in the energetic place they’ve chosen. When they mix with your energy, it makes them feel better. But what they really need to do is make some real changes in their life and stay out of your energy.

This is one of the most important things my clients learn to do when dealing with a toxic co-worker. It’s an easy way to keep your energy clear, elevated and focused.

3. Clear your energy.

If you feel their energy bringing you down, clear out any energy you’ve picked up from them. Notice when you’ve been near them and your energy drops – this is your sign to clear your energy. It takes a few seconds to do in the moment and here’s HOW to clear and reprogram your energy. You can do this silently, anywhere to clear your energy. The sooner you do it, the better you will feel.

Typically a toxic co-worker is something you have to go to HR and deal with or to your manager or leader. But if you are in a good place, they won’t have any power over you or your energy. This is best for you. Change your dance with how you spend your energy with them and what energy you allow them to have access to.

Toxic co-workers and leaders are difficult to work with and they can make you miserable. I don’t want that for you, no one wants that foryou. It’s so easy to change the energy interaction that you have with them instead. They probably won’t even be able to explain what’s changed.

How to Stop Burnout at Work for High Performers

How do you keep your high performer from burning out in YOUR work environment?

There are many consultants out there trying to help you have a high performance team. This isn’t what your high performers need. They are naturally going to perform. It’s innately who they are.

What they need to learn is to create balance in their work environment so they can continue to perform consistently. That’s where the leadership comes in.

High performers are invaluable to your company.

You know this and you want to retain them.

High performers are good at what they do – they strive for excellence. They often get more tasks delegated to them because they’ll somehow produce and get it done.
They even volunteer to do more because it helps them feel more successful. They’re the ones that will pick up the slack of other team members who are not optimally performing (I like to call these workers the mooches of the high performers).
And high performers see what needs to get done and they do it.
They will try and do it all, it’s what they naturally do.

But eventually they will hit their breaking point.

You may recognize this as someone being forced to take sick leave because of an acute illness, sustaining an injury, personal reasons that impact the quality of their work and ultimately burnout aka stress leave.

Because your high performer will be forced to take time away from work to heal and they are inherently driven, they will hit their breaking point more than once until they realize how to create a sustainable work/life balance.

As a Spiritual Medium and Energy Strategist, I know what is driving your high performer to overwork until they reach burnout. I’ve driven myself to burnout twice in my career, because that’s what high performers do when they’re not in balance.

2 Causes for High Performer Burnout in the Work Environment

Part of the problem is what I call their Success Wound™, their endless drive to do more, where they prove their worth and more. And this WILL push them to their breaking point.
It’s also the work environment that encourages a high performer to overwork and burnout.

I can talk to high performers all day about what to do to create sustainable work/life balance, but part of what has to change is in the work environment.

How to STOP Burnout in the Work Environment

Step 1 – Recognize your high performers.

Stop letting them overwork and not compensating them more than the other workers for it. This is what leads to them feeling bitter and resentful and moving to another company.

Give them credit for going above and beyond, rewards for taking on extra tasks. You can give them extra vacation time or personal days, a company trip or bonuses for all that they’ve done.

Make them feel seen, heard and appreciated. They need this from the company and their leaders. They’re actively looking for recognition. Give it to them. They are your best performers and you want them to stay and be healthy.

Step 2 – Stop overworking them.

I don’t know a single high performer whose workload is doable. This is why they overwork, to get it done. It can’t be done in their typical work hours, so they have to come in early, work late and work through lunch. Please stop.

You know that their workload is already full. If you give them more to do because you know they’ll do it, this is part of the problem that leads them to burnout. This doesn’t just happen one time. It’s every week, for months with no end in sight.

I’ve had clients tell me,”It’s just until we hire my replacement that I have to do both jobs.” Or, “They can’t find anyone to help me, so I have to get it done.”

My high performing clients are getting more tasks and assignments that aren’t possible to complete in their set work hours. This isn’t the high performers problem that you’re short staffed or the other workers aren’t doing their work. But overworking and taking on all this extra work is how they burnout.

Step 3 – Honor their time AWAY from work.

They need to recharge. They give 200% at work everyday and often still check emails and messages in their off hours – because you give it to them. STOP.

You pay them to work certain hours and they work really hard for you. Encourage them to not check company emails and messages by NOT sending them. Let them rest and recharge in their not scheduled work time so they continue to have the energy and health to be the high performers that they are.

Create the Change for Your High Performers in the Company Culture

We like to blame the high performer for burning out:

They didn’t know when to stop working.
They love to overwork.
We were surprised to hear their marriage fell apart?
We were surprised to hear they were struggling with alcohol.
We offer them beverages, snacks and even lunch.

This is bigger than the high performer and their Success Wound.

If you look at the company culture, how do you encourage your high performer to overwork? How many of your high performers are sick, have relationship problems or even worse – don’t have a life outside of work.

The high performers will perform. They are innately driven by their Success Wound.

As a balanced high performer that helps other high performers create a sustainable work/life balance, we have to address the problems in the work environment that encourage and expect this overworked and over driven behavior to their literal breaking point.

High performers are your most valuable and innovative workers. You want to retain them at your company and you don’t want to pay for sick leave due to burnout.

How to Stop Overworking – 5 Tips

If you’re giving everything to work and don’t have energy or time left to play and relax, I wrote this for you!

When your work to do list is overfull, there seems to be only one solution – to keep working through the pile. But what I’ve found is that the pile never shrinks…am I right?

How many hours are you PAID to work each week?
How many hours do you actually work each week?
How many hours are you overworking each week?
How does this impact your love life? Your social life? Your health?

When you overwork, it takes time and energy away from other things you want to do for yourself or with family or friends. Remember, you are replaceable in your work, no matter how overfull your task list is. But you’re not as easily replaceable with your family and friends.

I used to overwork to my breaking point. I was sick often and have 2 specific moments in my life that told me to stop running myself into the ground before I listened. Now I call myself a balanced high performer and I work with other high performers to help them create a life they love outside of work.

5 Tips to STOP Overworking

Reminder: you are here for MORE than your work.

1. Create a work schedule and stick to it.

I talk about this all the time because working in your personal time means thinking about work while getting ready in the morning, working through your lunch, staying late to finish things up, answering emails and texts on the weekends, working DURING your vacation and more.

This is all work and I want you to ONLY do it during work hours. If you have a thought about work outside of work hours, jot it down on a notepad or put a note in your phone so you can handle it during work hours.

Also, turn off work notifications on your phone so you can enjoy your time away from work to recharge.

Only work during your paid work hours. This is not only good for you but your work as well. Overworking leads to exhaustion, overwhelm and burnout. It stops the best high performers in their tracks. I have a client right now that wants me to hold her accountable to having a leisurely morning to ground her energy before she thinks about work. Normally she thinks about work as she gets ready and it messes up her day. Stop this by working only during your work hours – nothing more.

2. Stop letting your to do list grow.

Having people you work with constantly add to your work list means, you’re overworking. I just spoke with a man in the Navy who overworks because his to do list is never ending and it affects other people’s careers. The problem – you’re human and this is not sustainable.

Who else can take these tasks? Is there someone you can delegate to or an assistant who can take more things off your plate. And if it’s something only you can do, what other tasks can you hand off to someone else that anyone can do?

I’ve helped so many clients with this. By having a huge to do list that grows significantly everyday it helps you feel worthy and enough at work at first. You get things done, you prove yourself, people give you more, it’s a vicious cycle that will burn out every high performer.

Assess your workload.

Who at your work isn’t getting the work load you are? Why is that?

Is everyone equally slammed with work or are there people doing less than others? In all my experience working in Corporate, at Spas, being self-employed and working with other high performers – not everyone is working the same. Not everyone cares. Those that work hard and care seem to get more – until they can’t handle it.

You don’t get paid for doing more.

You don’t.

You just get more to do than anyone else or to do more than your job description.

I had a client that struggled with this and she started saying no, and if I take this on – I can’t do this task you gave me. She also stopped working on the weekends and less hours. Guess what? She just accepted a VP role in her company. By saying no and drawing boundaries with her to do list, she’s been getting raises and promotions without even trying. She really can’t believe how much easier it all is.

Stop letting your to do list grow. It causes your more stress and anxiety. There is no award for overworking your co-workers. Or if you’re an entrepreneur, you really do have to pace yourself so you make it through your career.

3. Make self-care a part of your day.

Self-care means anything that allows you to recharge your body and mind. It is doing something that GIVES you back the energy you spent at work. If you think about your energy like your cell phone battery, when you run out of energy – there is no back up battery. You start borrowing energy from the next day and so on.

Think of lunch hour or half an hour as a time for you to fuel your body and reflect on your day. By skipping lunch, you make yourself eat junk that’s laying around and you hit a wall at 3 pm. Plus you keep plugging along when your energy and brainpower won’t be as efficient. Instead, by making self care a part of your day – like taking a lunch every day, this gives you time to fuel your body so you’re not hangry, it allows you to reflect on your morning and assess if you need to tweak your afternoon.

Self-care also looks like getting enough sleep at night and exercising your body. This allows you to show up at work as your best self. Having fun scheduled in with family and friends is also a fun way to boost your energy.

4. Know Your WHY.

Why do you overwork? What are you proving? What does your Success Wound™ drive you to prove: I am worthy? I am enough? I am love? Do you still need to prove anything at this point in your career? Probably not.

I used to overwork to prove my worth and when I did that, all I did was get more work. You can’t constantly prove yourself. It doesn’t work and people typically take advantage of that.

Instead, ask yourself why do I want to take on this task. Does it make sense with my job? My role? My salary? And if you do take it on, what do you take off your plate. Don’t add more to your to do list without handing something back over.

5. Start doing hobbies that bring you joy.

I know, it sounds counter intuitive, but if you just stop working, most high performers have no idea what to do. I watch my retired mother and father-in-law just keep finding work tasks around the house. They can’t sit, be, take time to be present…they work ALL the time. And remember, I said they’re retired.

Part of WHY you work is to bring in money to give you a certain level of a life-style. You want time AND financial freedom. You’re not going to have or feel that if you’re working all the time.

What to do when you’re not working?

Start doing hobbies that bring you joy. Some of my clients have taken up golfing, flower arranging, swimming, Pilates, running, dancing, playing the piano, riding their ebike, playing the guitar, lifting weights, cooking and more.

Find whatever it is for you that gives you a reason to not check your email Saturday morning. You’ll like how this hobby makes you feel. By taking up a hobby, when you think…I should respond to these messages, instead you’ll say, I have class at 9, I’m going to have breakfast and go.

Find things outside of work that bring you joy. You are here for more than your work. You created this lifestyle but you’re not fully living it. Enjoy it!

Have More Energy – 8 EASY Daily Habits

Not enough time in your day? I hear this ALL the time and it gets worse with the holidays.

It may not feel like it, but you do have control over HOW you spend your time. The secret is to be intentional with HOW you spend your time. There are things you have to do for work but work time has to stop affecting all of your time – especially during the holidays.

What if you had work/life balance during the holiday season this year? What if your to dos got smaller?

The biggest complaint I hear:

There isn’t enough time.

Followed by:

I don’t have energy.

The good news is that I have 8 easy daily habits that I’m going to share with you to change that this holiday season. Daily habits are your key to creating a shift in your life that will reduce your stress and anxiety AND help you create that ever escaping work/life balance.

You can pick and choose which ones you want to start with. Don’t pick the ones that seem the hardest for you personally to do. Instead pick ones that will truly create a shift for you immediately and then start adding in the ones that are fun or easy until you’re doing them all.

8 Daily Habits to Have More Energy:

1. Create a work schedule and STICK to it.

This is very important! If you don’t create a work schedule what happens? You work ALL hours of the day and on the weekends adding to your stress and anxiety because you’re not doing anything else.

Create a work schedule that FEELS right to you. If it doesn’t feel right, you’re not going to do it. Bonus – have an end to the work day ritual or process to let go of what you didn’t get done and assign it to another day so you’re not carrying that energy (guilt) into your personal time.

2. Schedule TIME with your people so it actually happens.

Have family or friends you want to meet for lunch, dinner or drinks?

It’s common to say, we’ll get together...and it doesn’t happen. Or everyone puts it on their schedule and then they’re too tired to do it. STOP!

Make time for the people you want to see. You are here for more than your work. These lunches, dinners, drinks and events are the memories you’ll carry with you AND they bring you JOY.

You can use more joy. Make this a priority. Don’t squeeze it into your schedule, put it in their intentionally.

3. Start your day intentionally.

Instead of waking up and thinking, “I have to do this and this and this today…” and starting your day stressed and overwhelmed. STOP.

I highly recommend starting your day when you wake up or your alarm goes off with a meditation, energy work or by being grateful – I am grateful for ____. (Only say what you truly feel grateful for in that moment.)

4. Don’t immediately jump onto your phone, computer or devices when you wake up.

Get ready for the day BEFORE you touch an email. Don’t check your phone for emails or just hit the floor running as this sets the tone for your whole day.

Go-go-go is how you’re exhausted in the afternoon. You’re not a machine. Don’t treat your body like you are one.

Tip – my phone is in the kitchen on silent at night and there are no devices in my room. My computer is set to sleep. What can you do to give yourself more time to be intentional with how you start your day so you flow better through your day?

5. Actually enjoy your morning beverage.

Don’t gulp down your favorite morning beverage while you’re checking emails, running around your house or getting ready for the day.

Feel the mug or glass. If it’s a warm beverage, breathe in the steam.

Slowly drink your morning beverage. Think about what you’re excited about doing today, appreciate what you see outside. Be grateful for the day ahead of you.

6. Take breaks throughout the day.

How many breaks do you take during the day?

Most people don’t take any – lunch if it’s eaten is often eaten while you’re working, checking emails or catching up.

Block your schedule for lunch and actually eat your lunch and stay off technology. This allows you to look objectively at your day and course correct your afternoon as needed. Self-care is how you recharge and it makes you more efficient and productive.

7. Move your body.

Do you sit in a desk all day looking at a computer?

That’s not good for your neck, back or hips. Schedule in a walk after lunch or at the end of your work day, stretches throughout the day as your body needs them or exercise to help release stress and take care of your body. Your body isn’t a machine – don’t treat it like one.

8. Create a bedtime routine. (you had one when you were younger and it worked!) to help you destress and reset before you sleep. It helps create an end to the day. Here’s an article I wrote that gives you 7 simple tips to sleep at night.

The KEY is to be intentional with

HOW you spend your energy.

If you start your day running from task to task, that’s typically how your whole day will go.

Client Results:

One of my executive clients was struggling with time for herself. She had the role of two positions while they looked for someone to fill her old role, she has kids and a husband. She was overwhelmed trying to do it all. She would lose sleep at night to do things she wanted to do like read books.

Now she has created a balance in her work/life, she has TIME to do things that bring her joy and she keeps getting promotions (and raises!) without trying. We started with these tips in this article and we healed the energy that was driving her to overperform and that’s when things really shifted for her. Doing MORE wasn’t her answer and it’s not yours either. What is driving you to over perform? And to burn out?

Your goal isn’t to be more overwhelmed, overworked or stressed out. What are 2 things you can implement from above TODAY? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to hear it.

Start Your Day with LESS Stress

Are stress and anxiety running your life? I wonder…

How do you feel when you first wake up in the morning?

Do you feel refreshed? If you do, how long does that last? When do you stop feeling refreshed? Did you DO something that took away that refreshed feeling?
Overwhelmed? Why are you feeling overwhelmed when you wake up? What are you thinking about?
Exhausted thinking about the day ahead of you?

What do you do when you first wake up?

Do you do a meditation to align and balance your energy and start your day more peacefully?

Or do you check your phone for emails and messages and run into your workday before your feet even hit the floor?

Most people wake up and they’re running from task to task. You start with emails, messages, social media, news and your day is busy until when?

You’re getting stuck in go, go, go mode.

By starting your day immediately going into work mode, you’re not giving yourself the space to ease into your work day. Remember – you are here for more than your work.

One of the most important things you can do is create a morning routine that SETS the tone for your day.

What is your current morning routine? Does it set your day up for success? How do you FEEL about it?

Your morning routine SETS the tone for the rest of your day.

IF your morning routine creates more stress and anxiety for you, you’ll notice that carry throughout your day. If you feel calm and peaceful, that will carry through your day and when things come up that throw you out of balance, you’ll handle it better.

How can you start your day feeling balanced, peaceful and calm?

You get to decide how to start your day. When you create a routine that sets the tone for the rest of the day, you’ll feel more balanced as you start the day. This energy can then follow you into your morning at work.

These are the 3 Energy Healing Habits I recommend to my clients to start their day.

Be intentional with your energy.

Set your alarm clock for 10 minutes before you have to get out of bed.

Allow yourself to wake up and then use this time to:

Meditate
Bring in White Light
Set intentions for the day
Bring in abundance
Affirmations such as I am statements – I am peace, I am calm, all is well

If you allow yourself to wake up by doing things that are going to balance your energy, mindset and body, you’ll feel more calm and less rushed as you start your day.

2. Be intentional with your morning routines.

Give yourself ample time to wake up and step into your day. Try no technology the first 30 minutes you are up to allow you to be very present in your morning routines. Don’t rush through and get it all done fast, give yourself time to nurture your body for your workday.

Wash your face, apply your serums and moisturizer/sunscreen. Be grateful for the day ahead of you, for the things you GET to do. Appreciate your face and it’s features – your eyes allow you to see, you mouth allows you to eat, your nose allows you to smell, etc.
Get dressed. Choose a color that supports how you’re feeling. Appreciate your body (instead of judging it). Be grateful for your body as it allows you to do the things you want to do.
Prepare and drink your morning drink. DO NOT just gulp it down. Hold the glass or mug. Appreciate what you’re drinking. If it’s a steamy beverage, breathe in the steam. If it’s room temperature or cold, feel that in your hands. Think about your day – what are you excited to do? What is new? What is habitual? Do you need to schedule another break into your day?
Eat your breakfast. ENJOY the food, actually chew it and taste it. Be grateful for the food that is nourishing your body. Breathe. Eat. Enjoy. Don’t just grab junk or skip eating all together. What you eat here sets the tone for the rest of your eating habits that day – especially if you didn’t get any protein in your body.
If you exercise in the morning, be intentional with it. Release any stress or worries as you workout.

By being intentional with your morning routine, you allow yourself to start in a balanced place physically, mentally and energetically. Which is very different from jumping on your phone to check emails, messages, social media and now you’re running late so you’ll grab your drink and food and go. Very different!

3. Be intentional with your thoughts.

Do you take time and energy to actually think about WHAT you think about your day? You should try it. How do you feel about what you’re going to do today? Do these thoughts support you or sabotage you? Most likely, you have certain things you’re going to have to do today no matter what – might as well approach them with the best energy you can.

Your tasks – what are you excited to do? What do you dread? How can you take on less?
Who you’ll interact with – how do you FEEL about this? What can you do to create the best outcome?
The goals you will reach – any big goals you’re going to reach today? Any small ones to start taking to reach bigger goals?
The impact you will make – what difference are you making with your team? Your friends and family? In the world?

Pay attention to HOW you FEEL about the things you have to do today. They’ll let you know what is going to be easy and what will be hard for you. You want to address the energy around the things that are hard for you to make them easier.

Creating a life you LOVE means not rushing through the day and this starts with having a morning routine that sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Part of your success in creating a morning routine that will start your day off right is balancing your energy when it gets off. Here’s an energy clearing meditation to help you stop stress, anxiety and bad energy. Here’sa meditation to help you raise your vibration.

Now that you know how to create a more peaceful morning routine, tell me below what you’re going to do differently tomorrow morning. I’m cheering you on and can’t wait to hear how you raise your energy vibration in the morning and how it impacts the rest of your day.

Stop Hustling and Start Living

How long have you been hustling?

Maybe the better question is – how long have you been overworking?

As a high performer, hustling has become a lifestyle for getting things done and taking on more than is humanly possible or realistic. It’s causing people to feel stressed out, exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and this can all lead to burnout.

There are so many quotes that glorify husting. Company cultures often encourage it after all, they have a financial benefit of paying you to do the jobs of 1.5-2 people. And if you’re an entrepreneur – you’re told to hustle so you get there faster. Regardless of how you got stuck in the hustle, know this – the hustle is a SHORT TERM solution.

You can do anything for a SHORT

period of time.

When it comes to hustling, you want to look at what are you personally losing by being stuck in the hustle?

As an entrepreneur with over 2 decades working as a Spiritual Medium & Mentor, I spent a lot of time in my career hustling – which really is just a glorified way to say I was overworking and even more specifically, I was proving my worth. I’d push myself so hard that something would happen to literally force me to stop and slow down. I did this twice before I finally realized – ah, I can’t do this anymore -and I haven’t.

My first hustling aka overworking experience happened my freshman year of college. I was working 3 jobs to put myself through school and I got mono which meant bedrest for weeks and I had to go back into work slowly with a full course load.

You’d think I would have learned, but I didn’t. I kept pushing myself in my work as a Spiritual Medium and Mindset & Energy Coach to help more people. When I wasn’t working with my clients, I was working at a spa to help more people. I was also helping my husband in one of his businesses. Plus I’m a mom and stepmom so if the school needed help, I was there volunteering. I was on a fast path to burnout but I injured myself first – I tore my Achilles Tendon and that forced me to rest my ankle for weeks.

It took me years, but I finally realized that when I push myself to do more, be more, help more, make more, more, more, more…the person I’m really hurting is myself. Can you relate? How is hustling or overworking affecting you? How is it affecting your relationships?

When I used to hustle, I didn’t let it affect my family time or time with my husband. So what did it affect? My personal time. I didn’t have any and most of my clients come to me doing the same thing. I would take time out of my sleep or things that I really wanted to do for me. And of course this just led me to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with a tinge of bitterness – but I was the one creating this reality for myself.

How do you go from Overworked to Living?

There are 4 areas I like to help you focus on shifting. I could spend hours talking about this, so I’ll give you 1 tip for each section that you can start implementing immediately.

1. Time

The best way to get more time is to create a work/life balance. Not some imaginary, mystical idea but create boundaries around the time and energy you put into your work whether you work for someone or you’re an entrepreneur.

Create boundaries around your work and don’t let it go into your personal time. Work your allotted work hours and be done. There really isn’t a reward for you to go over and beyond. If you keep overworking, you seem to be the one rewarded with more work that others can’t or won’t do. When you’ve done your work for the day, you’re done until the next day.

2. Relationships

The second area is RELATIONSHIPS. Make time in your schedule to spend with people that bring you JOY. Spend time with people that you love doing things that make you happy. Your memories will last a lifetime, so make lots of fun ones. You’re here for more than your work – no matter how much you love it or how good you are at it.

3. Energy

The third area is ENERGY. Make self-care a priority daily. Often high achieving women say, well I get my hair and my nails done. NO- this isn’t giving you back energy. Think of self-care as a way to recharge your energy. Get enough sleep at night, take naps when you need them, eat the right food for you, exercise, energy work and meditation are all things that will help you recharge. Think – does this give me energy or drain my energy.

4. Mindset

The fourth area is MINDSET. I know – your mindset is amazing – except your mindset is what is driving you to overwork and hustle. What is driving or pushing you to do more? Why do you push yourself so hard? Why are you the one who gets it all done when no one else can? Get to the root of what is driving you so you truly can relax and live this amazing life you’ve worked so hard to create.

My passion truly is helping high performers and achievers to go from overwhelmed and overworked to operating at your next level. You can schedule a Connection Call with me to see how I can support you in achieving this.

#1 Secret to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Are boundaries a scary thing for you to set in your relationships?

Boundaries have a negative connotation for many people. So instead of setting a boundary, they will ignore the problem. But what happens when you ignore your relationship problems?

They grow and you continue to get more and more frustrated. They become the big elephant in the room that everyone can see but no one talks about. This is a problem that does not magically go away on it’s own. Remember, unresolved relationship problems will continue to grow, they need to have an intervention.

As a Spiritual Medium, one of the fastest things I watch pull you out of balance is relationship problems. They affect so many areas of your life so quickly and leave you spinning. Literally.

Relationship problems affect your whole life but you’ll most likely notice them affecting your stress levels, how much sleep you’ll get and how much or how little you’ll eat. They can even affect your performance level at work and make you moody around those that are trying to support you. You don’t want your relationship problems running away from you and you can solve this with healthy boundaries.

What is the purpose of a relationship boundary?

Boundaries protect your energy and your relationships.

Boundaries let others know what is okay and what is not okay with you. Here’s the thing about boundaries, what is not okay for you may be okay for someone else and vice versa. But no one knows this unless it’s verbally communicated. Boundaries are not set in stone across all of your relationships. They are different with different people.

It is very important that you tell – out loud – not just in your head, what your specific boundaries are with the people in your life.

If you feel like you are being pushy or aggressive, I’m going to bet that it’s because drawing boundaries is unfamiliar to you.

There is NOTHING wrong with telling people what is okay and what isn’t okay for you. Again, if you don’t tell them, they don’t know. The majority of the population cannot read your mind and they’re not good with hints. They need you to be very specific and very clear with what’s good for you and what’s not.

If you set a boundary with someone and they ignore it or make fun of you for it, that’s your red flag that it’s time to re-examine your relationship with this person.

The Golden Rule– do onto others as you want done onto you – applies well here. Not only do you want to let others know what your boundaries are, you also want to know what their boundaries are.

What is the #1 Secret to Setting Healthy Boundaries?

The first step is to SET the boundary. The secret to setting a healthy boundary is that you have to ENFORCE them. All of them.

It is completely pointless to set a boundary and then not enforce it. At that point, it’s like you didn’t even set a boundary.

This is where I see most people fall apart is at enforcing the boundary and that’s why this is the #1 secret to setting a healthy boundary.

Let’s use the example of a child in the candy store. You tell the child they can have 1 piece of candy…and for some kids, setting this boundary is going to be a big challenge, but you set it anyhow for whatever the reason. Reminder – you can tell the reason for the boundary as long as it doesn’t come across as a justification for the boundary. Justifying your boundaries weakens them to the receiver.

The kid comes back to you with a bag full of candy. This is your telling moment. Do you ignore your boundary of one piece of candy or do you enforce it?

If you enforce the boundary and say to the child, “Wow, you found so many great choices. But how many pieces of candy are you going to get right now? One. One piece of candy, so let’s pick out the one you want the most and let’s put the others back.”

The child knows that you set the boundary and you meant it. If the child ignores your boundary and tries to have a temper tantrum for only getting one piece, you have to decide what to do to keep enforcing your boundary. Personally, I know as a child I would have gotten NO candy and I’m sure many of you can relate. Because if I kept pushing the boundary, then there was no reward for breaking the boundary.

But if you let the child get the whole bag of candy because you don’t really care or even worse, you don’t want to create a scene, they’re not going to listen to you when you set boundaries around the things that are really important. Like being honest and respectful with you.

Here’s the thing about boundaries, if you aren’t going to enforce it, DO NOT waste your time setting it. Don’t. You create more problems for yourself and the people in your life will have no idea what you actually want.

When you set a boundary and don’t enforce it, you didn’t set a boundary. Let that sink in.

When you set a boundary and don’t enforce it, you didn’t set a boundary.

You also set a precedent that you don’t mean what you say. Then this quickly becomes a very confusing game of do they mean this one or do they not.

Do you see why the secret to setting a healthy boundary is enforcing the boundary?

No one likes to be confused.

The more clear you are with your boundary setting and enforcing, the smoother things will go in your relationships.

What to Do When they Ignore My Boundary Enforcing?

Sometimes you will come across a person that hears your boundary and they continue to ignore you when you enforce your boundary.

What do you do in this scenario?

This is one of the most asked questions I get about enforcing boundaries – what do I do if they ignore me enforcing the boundary?

The answer is it depends on who this person is, what the situation is and what you want to do.

Boundaries are set to tell people what’s okay and what’s not. So if they’re ignoring the boundary and you are enforcing the boundary, it tells me more about them and the type of person they are.

If someone cares about you and you set a boundary with them, they should honor it. They want to be a part of your life and not do anything intentionally to upset you. That’s what people that really care about you want to do. They don’t want to cause drama and rock the boat to intentionally trigger you.

Boundaries are the hardest to set with family members.

Family knows you better than anyone else and sometimes they have a pattern of knocking you down and picking on you until you crumble. This isn’t okay by the way, it isn’t ok for anyone to treat you in a way that hurts you. It’s just more often than not, the people I hear struggle the most when you stand in your power and set a boundary is a family member who is used to having power over you.

Family dynamics are the hardest. Don’t you just love those family patterns, especially the generational ones! And this is followed by partners that you are in an unhappy relationship with.

Typically the most unhealthy relationships you have are often the ones that struggle with a boundary. If they’ve been able to do whatever they’ve wanted for as long as they’ve known you, they don’t usually want to change that. They want to do what they know, whether it’s healthy or not.

This gives you an opportunity to decide how to handle this:

Do you need to create more space in this relationship? And if you go this route, make sure you communicate with them that the problem is them ignoring the boundaries you have set. If you leave a relationship without saying why, it creates more problems and karma for the two of you to deal with later and I promise you, it’s so much easier to do it now.
Is this relationship still a fit for you? Is this someone you still want to have in your life. Why and why not? Get really objective and make a list and decide if this relationship was for a reason or a season and it’s time is up.
Do you need to sit down and talk to them? It is very possible that no one has drawn a boundary with them before and they don’t know how to respond. They may feel controlled. They may have been the kid that was allowed to get one piece of candy at the candy store but got the whole bag.

Remember:

Boundaries tell others what is okay and not okay in your relationships together. They’re good and you should be using them in all of your relationships.

The #1 secret to setting healthy boundaries is to enforce the boundary. While it is harder to enforce the boundary than to set it, when you enforce a boundary and the other person respects it, it elevates the relationship.

If someone ignores your boundary and you enforcing the boundary, it’s time for you to re-evaluate your relationship and interactions with this person going forward.

Who are you going to start enforcing boundaries with in your life? It’s time!

Now that you know the #1 secret to healthy boundaries, I hope you create more balance in your relationships.

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