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What is Driving High Peformers to Overwork?

Do you hit a work goal and move immediately onto the next one?

Are you driven to succeed but find yourself unfulfilled no matter how much success you reach?

Is your overworking making you feel bitter and resentful as it takes a toll on your personal life?

As a high performer, you push yourself hard at work and you get things done. You set goals and move quickly onto the next one. You’re a rockstar at work until you start to feel unfulfilled, bitter and resentful.

Have you stopped and asked what are you proving to yourself and to others through your work? Most of my clients didn’t…until they realized that how they were working was no longer sustainable and they were on a path to burnout.

What I’ve found through my decades working with high performers is that this drive may have gotten you to the level of success you have today BUT it’s no longer working. Now it’s pushing you on an endless journey of overworking and overachieving…without enjoying the success you’ve created. This leads you to feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and stuck in a vicious cycle that feels pointless at this point in your life. I mean, you are successful. You just don’t feel like you are.

It’s time for sustainable success AND work-life balance.

I discovered years ago that what is driving you to your breaking point is what I call your Success Wound. I’ve created Success Wound™ offers that are trainings, workshops, programs and retreats because there is no cookie cutter solution to healing a high performer’s Success Wound. Let’s dig in…

What is YOUR Success Wound?

Your Success Wound is your energetic drive for more.

No matter how much money and success are in your life, it’s not enough. It keeps you from enjoying your life and drives you to continually achieve.

It’s your constant push and drive for more. More, more, more.

It leaves you feeling unfulfilled and stuck in a vicious cycle that will lead you to burnout or stress leave if left in charge.

Where did Your Success Wound come from?

It starts in your childhood. You either come in with this belief and it makes no sense to anyone that knows you. OR you learned it from family, teachers, experiences and friends when you were little and you’re still carrying that with you today. This is why I call it a wound. It’s a deep, energetic drive that is driving you to prove yourself.

Your Success Wound HAD a purpose. It did drive you and got you to where you are today. But now your Success Wound is preventing you from ENJOYING your success in and out of work.

The continual drive for more is no longer exciting or working for you. Instead it’s keeping you from feeling like you actually do have it all.

What is the energy of your Success Wound?

Your Success Wound is what energetically drives you and it shows up as proving yourself.

I’ve discovered in all my work with high performers in over twenty years, that you’re proving at least one of three things. I am worthy. I am enough. I am love. – it can be any combination of these things.1 -2 – or all 3. Typically it’s two things.

Also, most high performers don’t feel supported, which just fuels the Success Wound.

I have a high performing client that reached 7 figures in her business last year. Her response as she was crying – I thought I would hit this milestone and feel like I did it. I made it. But nothing feels different.

My response – you won’t feel successful when your Success Wound is still in charge. And it was. We’ve since then created a way for her to create sustainable success, have work-life balance and she has the tools to continue to heal layers of her Success Wound when it appears.

How long does it take to heal your Success Wound?

My training on the Success Wound™ is at a minimum an hour to help you know the root of what’s driving you. In my programs, we spend time healing it and as it’s in layers, layers will appear at different times for you to heal.

It isn’t going to be an automatic release. It’s deep. It’s been in charge for decades if not longer.

It’s how you operate. It’s how you work, it’s ingrained in your energy, responses, your relationships, your goals and your dreams. It’s why you overachieve and it impacts all areas of your life.

So we obviously can’t get to the root of your Success Wound here but ask yourself what is driving you to do more, make more, achieve more? I’ll also give you a video to do some energy work to start to heal it. And here’s a video I did years ago that tells you more about how I discovered the Success Wound.

How are you proving that you’re enough in your work? Or worthy? Or love?
Who told you that you weren’t these things? That you had to do more?
Where does that come from? How long have you been doing it? Do you still want to do it?

Who else do you know that over achieves? And to help you look at your situation more objectively, what does their life look like right now? That’s always a great way to get clarity on what you want to do more or less of in your life. Do you want your life to be like theirs?

Your Success Wound started in your childhood. Some of you came in with those beliefs. Regardless of how yours started, it’s layered into your energy and it comes out as an overachieving, high performer that doesn’t feel supported and overworks. And if you stay on this course, it will lead you to your breaking point.

Once you know what you’re proving, you can recognize it and pivot in the moment.

What does your Success Wound look like at work? How does it affect your personal life? What do you want to do differently?

Hitting your breaking point is not a badge of honor.

There is no reward for burnout. Or overworking. Or feeling bitter and resentful about your work.

While the Success Wound is what drives you to overwork, if you put yourself in a work environment that takes advantage of your overworking – that is a fast recipe for stress leave or burnout. Know what drives you so you can stop proving it. No one believes it when you try to prove it anyhow. Stop overworking. It’s not good for you or your work.

How to STOP & Reduce Your Work Stress

Have you been told to reduce your work stress?

You’re not alone. Stress has increased in the workplace.The total economic impact of stress to US employers was estimated at $300 billion according to The American Institute of Stress.

Stress is a big problem that affects all areas of your life, not just work. Most people will ignore it and keep pushing through until a health issue arises but it doesn’t have to be that way.

There are a lot of things you can do to reduce your stress: meditate, exercise, take deep breaths, get the sleep you need at night, eat better and so much more.

These are all also good things to do regularly to help keep you from bringing the stress into your body. Which is what I’d like you to do. STOP the stress from coming into your body and your energy.

Understand Your Stress to STOP & Reduce it

1. Pay attention to what makes you feel stressed.

I’m sure it’s going to involve work and probably some family members. Maybe even money. Those are usually the top three culprits.What makes you agitated, nervous, etc. What makes you feel stressed? You have to identify what starts the stress within you so you can stop it.

2. Notice HOW the stress makes you feel.

Obviously, not good, right? You may feel overwhelmed, anxious, jittery, like you can’t stop moving. How does the stress make you feel? Again, you want to recognize what it feels like so you can stop it.

Once you know these two things:

I want you to know when you are in situations that make you feel stressed and how that stress feels so you can stop it before you energetically let the stress into your being. – I bet you haven’t heard that before!!

Stress is an energy. It’s a pattern. It’s familiar. It’s energetically how you tuck things away that you can’t or don’t want to deal with in the moment. But you store it in your body and it creates physical ailments and diseases.

An example of letting the stress in:

Let’s say you get another task at work with another deadline you can’t possibly complete in time with your workload. This will make you feel stressed. You don’t have the time, energy or bandwidth to take this on. You then move into feeling the stress. You may feel overwhelmed, you may want to give up, you may feel panicked at telling your partner or friends you can’t hang out again because you have to work more and you start dreading their response. I’ve seen that a lot.

In this very common example the stressor was more work with an unrealistic deadline. The stress felt overwhelming.

What can you do instead?

Prevent the stressor.

By knowing what makes you stressed, you can create boundaries and plans to help you when the stressor appears. My clients are high performers and when more work is given to them when they’re already overbooked, overworked and on tight time schedules, instead of stepping into the stress cycle and taking it on when they know it’s not possible will create a boundary.

“I’m sorry. There is no way I can complete this by this deadline. I have this task due by this date, and this task due by this date. In order to take this on AND complete it on time, who can take on one of my other tasks or help me with this workload?”

It will feel weird at first, but this is how changes go. And your employer – they have NO idea how overwhelmed or overworked you feel if you don’t tell them HONESTLY. They need to know. They don’t want you out on worker’s comp for stress leave or leaving because you’re too overworked. Tell them.

What to do when you don’t PREVENT the stressor:

By knowing what your stressors are you can prevent them. If you take the stressor on and start to feel the stress, you have to let the stress go. It’s an energy that you don’t need to carry.

How to let the stress go:

Close your eyes, bring in the White Light through your body and imagine letting the energy of the stress go into the light. I took this task on and I shouldn’t have. I release the energy I am now carrying from that. I am free. And then refill your energy with a soft blue light. I am peace. I am calm. I am balance.

Your key to success is to not let the stressor bring the stress feeling into your body and energy in the first place. You do that with boundaries and having a plan in place to protect your time and energy.

The more boundaries and plans you create, the less stress you’ll feel. And then you can stop letting stress control your body, feelings, emotions, time, relationships and more.

There is no badge of honor for feeling or carrying stress. It negatively impacts all areas of your life. That’s why the best way forward for you is to stop it before it starts AND to catch the stress when you’re letting that energy into your body.

How to: Turn Off Work & STOP Thinking About it

Do you find yourself working in the evening? On the weekends? And even on holidays and vacations?

As a high performer, you have to turn work OFF! If you don’t, you will keep finding your thoughts moving back to what you have to do in your non-work hours.

Let me start off by saying, I’ve been there. I found myself overworking in every single one of my jobs. And I’m sure you’ve heard me say this before but I pushed myself to overwork twice in my career because once wasn’t enough. Now I consider myself a successful high performer and I guide other high performers to be this as well. How do we get you to be one too? You have to turn work off and STOP thinking about it.

WHY are You Overworking?

You’re being driven by what I call your Success Wound™. Your Success Wound is your endless inner drive to do more and make more.

Over the last five years, I’ve written articles, I’ve done podcasts and videos to help you start to recognize and begin to heal your Success Wound. Here’s my most recent Success Wound videoto help you start to recognize what your endless, inner drive here is. It’s one of three things, you’re proving: I am worthy, I am enough or I am love. Any combination or just one of these is ready to be addressed so you can start healing it and stop overworking.

Instead of Overworking…

1. Have your WHY to STOP working defined.

As a high performer, if you don’t have anything else to do, your default is work. I hear this ALL the time. While you enjoy getting things done and you love your work, you are absolutely here for more than your work.

What to do: Define your WHY. To play, to spend time with loved ones, to take care of your body, to learn a new hobby – your why for life outside of work has to be more important than your why for overworking. Make your why something you want to do, something that seems fun or exciting. Find a new hobby that’s exciting for you – something that you’re not going to want to work through.

2. RECHARGE so you don’t burn out.

You aren’t a machine. Even if you love your work, you’re still spending over 100% of your energy there each day, that means you start the next day out with less than 100% energy. This continues on and on.

So many of my clients come to me exhausted and overwhelmed – putting work and other family committments ahead of their own needs. This is not sustainable and a fast path to burnout.

What to do: Block time on your schedule for you to play and recharge, to enjoy this life you’ve been so busy creating. Activities that recharge you are considered self-care. These are activities that give your body and mind more energy: getting enough sleep, taking a nap, eating lunch, eating foods that support your body, getting a massage or facial, exercising, being out in nature, etc.

3. Make your relationships a priority.

Who nags you and tells you to stop working? They’re telling you this is a problem, listen. So many clients have complained to me about their partners nagging them. Do NOT ignore this or brush it off. They are communicating to you and asking you for a change. Make it!

What to do: Block out time in your schedule to spend with them UNITERRUPTED. Spend time with people that give you energy, that do fun things with you and make you happy. Enjoy this time with your loved ones and the memories you’ll make together.

4. You’re here for more than your work.

No one says on their deathbed, I’m so glad I overworked. Instead they talk about what they missed out on by working so much. Don’t do that to yourself.

What to do: be as passionate about your life outside of work as you are about your career. Schedule the things on your big to do list so you actually do them. Celebrate your wins and success. Love your life – you’re so busy creating it, be just as busy LOVING it.

You’re only paid to work so many hours. Work those hours and then STOP.

End of Workday Routine to STOP Overworking

How do you create closure to your workday in a way that stops overworking and thinking about work?

By having an end of the the workday routine. This will help you create closure around your workday AND help you stop thinking about work.

Look at your calendar for today. Anything you didn’t complete, move to another day and STOP thinking about it. It’s on your calendar, it’ll get done.
Look at your calendar for tomorrow. Any changes? Anything to add? Now you don’t have to think about your workday tomorrow. You know what’s on your schedule, you’ve adjusted it, let it go.
Say, “My work day is done. I did what I could. Today’s work is complete. Everything else will get done at the perfect time. I am off and now I recharge.”
Let go of work. Let go of work as you drive home. And if you work from home or once you get home from work, go for a short walk. Change the scenery so you can shift your energy. Be intentional in letting go of all your work stress so you don’t carry it over into your personal time.
As you move into your life time of your work/life balance, what do you want to do with the rest of the day? How do you want to spend your time? Exercise, meet someone for dinner, play, do something fun, or read a book. Really, there is no limit to what you can do here as long as it isn’t work related.

Sustainable work-life balance is KEY to create a life that you LOVE. Remember, no matter how much you love your work, you’re still here for more than your work.

3 Tips to Deal with Toxic Co-workers that DRAIN You

Do you have a co-worker, team member or leader that brings everyone down?

When you have to be near them, they affect you. Your energy is affected by those around you.

You can try to avoid these negative and toxic coworkers if at all possible but they still affect you. What do you do?

I was recently asked on a podcast interview, how to deal with a toxic co-worker and my answer wasn’t what he typically hears as a response. The only way to deal with a toxic co-worker is by not letting them have ACCESS to your energy.

One of the most important things for you to do is to pay attention to your energy.

Who just dumped into your energy field? Who just lowered your vibration? Who just made you feel awful?

Here’s the thing, no matter where you are or how toxic a work environment can be, you ALWAYS have control over your thoughts, words, actions and your energy.

I’ve worked with my fair share of toxic co-workers and leaders in my career. I find the best way to approach this is by being aware of your energy and not letting them impact yours.

3 Tips for Dealing with Toxic Co-workers that DRAIN You

1. Pay attention to your energy.

How is your energy? Did you get enough sleep last night? Did you skip any meals? Are you having any relationship problems? Is something bothering you?

I ask, because all these things affect your energy. If your energy isn’t balanced, aligned or grounded, you will be more easily triggered and your toxic co-workers can easily affect you. You want to make sure you’re doing what you can to be in a good place energetically. Make sure your body feels taken care of, be in a good place with your relationships, make self-care a priority.

If you know something negatively impacts your energy, limit exposure to it. And the flip side, do more things that give you positive energy.

It’s a good idea to start your day with a meditation, even a quick one so that when you get to work, you are starting strong. Here’s a 5 minute meditation to help you start your workday.

When your energy in a good place because you’ll not only respond better to a toxic co-worker or leader but you’ll feel better. And this really is everything.

2. Don’t let their energy come into yours.

Imagine that when you have an interaction with someone, your energy mixes together, it kinda blends together during that interaction.

You really don’t want to do this with a toxic co-worker or leader. You do not want to take any of their energy on. You also don’t want to build an energetic bubble, wall or fortress to protect you as these all use your energy and not in the best way.

Instead, imagine it not being able to come at you or towards you. It’s their energy. Let them keep it. This prevents their energy from mingling with yours and makes them have to stay in the energetic place they’ve chosen. When they mix with your energy, it makes them feel better. But what they really need to do is make some real changes in their life and stay out of your energy.

This is one of the most important things my clients learn to do when dealing with a toxic co-worker. It’s an easy way to keep your energy clear, elevated and focused.

3. Clear your energy.

If you feel their energy bringing you down, clear out any energy you’ve picked up from them. Notice when you’ve been near them and your energy drops – this is your sign to clear your energy. It takes a few seconds to do in the moment and here’s HOW to clear and reprogram your energy. You can do this silently, anywhere to clear your energy. The sooner you do it, the better you will feel.

Typically a toxic co-worker is something you have to go to HR and deal with or to your manager or leader. But if you are in a good place, they won’t have any power over you or your energy. This is best for you. Change your dance with how you spend your energy with them and what energy you allow them to have access to.

Toxic co-workers and leaders are difficult to work with and they can make you miserable. I don’t want that for you, no one wants that foryou. It’s so easy to change the energy interaction that you have with them instead. They probably won’t even be able to explain what’s changed.

Have More Energy – 8 EASY Daily Habits

Not enough time in your day? I hear this ALL the time and it gets worse with the holidays.

It may not feel like it, but you do have control over HOW you spend your time. The secret is to be intentional with HOW you spend your time. There are things you have to do for work but work time has to stop affecting all of your time – especially during the holidays.

What if you had work/life balance during the holiday season this year? What if your to dos got smaller?

The biggest complaint I hear:

There isn’t enough time.

Followed by:

I don’t have energy.

The good news is that I have 8 easy daily habits that I’m going to share with you to change that this holiday season. Daily habits are your key to creating a shift in your life that will reduce your stress and anxiety AND help you create that ever escaping work/life balance.

You can pick and choose which ones you want to start with. Don’t pick the ones that seem the hardest for you personally to do. Instead pick ones that will truly create a shift for you immediately and then start adding in the ones that are fun or easy until you’re doing them all.

8 Daily Habits to Have More Energy:

1. Create a work schedule and STICK to it.

This is very important! If you don’t create a work schedule what happens? You work ALL hours of the day and on the weekends adding to your stress and anxiety because you’re not doing anything else.

Create a work schedule that FEELS right to you. If it doesn’t feel right, you’re not going to do it. Bonus – have an end to the work day ritual or process to let go of what you didn’t get done and assign it to another day so you’re not carrying that energy (guilt) into your personal time.

2. Schedule TIME with your people so it actually happens.

Have family or friends you want to meet for lunch, dinner or drinks?

It’s common to say, we’ll get together...and it doesn’t happen. Or everyone puts it on their schedule and then they’re too tired to do it. STOP!

Make time for the people you want to see. You are here for more than your work. These lunches, dinners, drinks and events are the memories you’ll carry with you AND they bring you JOY.

You can use more joy. Make this a priority. Don’t squeeze it into your schedule, put it in their intentionally.

3. Start your day intentionally.

Instead of waking up and thinking, “I have to do this and this and this today…” and starting your day stressed and overwhelmed. STOP.

I highly recommend starting your day when you wake up or your alarm goes off with a meditation, energy work or by being grateful – I am grateful for ____. (Only say what you truly feel grateful for in that moment.)

4. Don’t immediately jump onto your phone, computer or devices when you wake up.

Get ready for the day BEFORE you touch an email. Don’t check your phone for emails or just hit the floor running as this sets the tone for your whole day.

Go-go-go is how you’re exhausted in the afternoon. You’re not a machine. Don’t treat your body like you are one.

Tip – my phone is in the kitchen on silent at night and there are no devices in my room. My computer is set to sleep. What can you do to give yourself more time to be intentional with how you start your day so you flow better through your day?

5. Actually enjoy your morning beverage.

Don’t gulp down your favorite morning beverage while you’re checking emails, running around your house or getting ready for the day.

Feel the mug or glass. If it’s a warm beverage, breathe in the steam.

Slowly drink your morning beverage. Think about what you’re excited about doing today, appreciate what you see outside. Be grateful for the day ahead of you.

6. Take breaks throughout the day.

How many breaks do you take during the day?

Most people don’t take any – lunch if it’s eaten is often eaten while you’re working, checking emails or catching up.

Block your schedule for lunch and actually eat your lunch and stay off technology. This allows you to look objectively at your day and course correct your afternoon as needed. Self-care is how you recharge and it makes you more efficient and productive.

7. Move your body.

Do you sit in a desk all day looking at a computer?

That’s not good for your neck, back or hips. Schedule in a walk after lunch or at the end of your work day, stretches throughout the day as your body needs them or exercise to help release stress and take care of your body. Your body isn’t a machine – don’t treat it like one.

8. Create a bedtime routine. (you had one when you were younger and it worked!) to help you destress and reset before you sleep. It helps create an end to the day. Here’s an article I wrote that gives you 7 simple tips to sleep at night.

The KEY is to be intentional with

HOW you spend your energy.

If you start your day running from task to task, that’s typically how your whole day will go.

Client Results:

One of my executive clients was struggling with time for herself. She had the role of two positions while they looked for someone to fill her old role, she has kids and a husband. She was overwhelmed trying to do it all. She would lose sleep at night to do things she wanted to do like read books.

Now she has created a balance in her work/life, she has TIME to do things that bring her joy and she keeps getting promotions (and raises!) without trying. We started with these tips in this article and we healed the energy that was driving her to overperform and that’s when things really shifted for her. Doing MORE wasn’t her answer and it’s not yours either. What is driving you to over perform? And to burn out?

Your goal isn’t to be more overwhelmed, overworked or stressed out. What are 2 things you can implement from above TODAY? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to hear it.

Start Your Day with LESS Stress

Are stress and anxiety running your life? I wonder…

How do you feel when you first wake up in the morning?

Do you feel refreshed? If you do, how long does that last? When do you stop feeling refreshed? Did you DO something that took away that refreshed feeling?
Overwhelmed? Why are you feeling overwhelmed when you wake up? What are you thinking about?
Exhausted thinking about the day ahead of you?

What do you do when you first wake up?

Do you do a meditation to align and balance your energy and start your day more peacefully?

Or do you check your phone for emails and messages and run into your workday before your feet even hit the floor?

Most people wake up and they’re running from task to task. You start with emails, messages, social media, news and your day is busy until when?

You’re getting stuck in go, go, go mode.

By starting your day immediately going into work mode, you’re not giving yourself the space to ease into your work day. Remember – you are here for more than your work.

One of the most important things you can do is create a morning routine that SETS the tone for your day.

What is your current morning routine? Does it set your day up for success? How do you FEEL about it?

Your morning routine SETS the tone for the rest of your day.

IF your morning routine creates more stress and anxiety for you, you’ll notice that carry throughout your day. If you feel calm and peaceful, that will carry through your day and when things come up that throw you out of balance, you’ll handle it better.

How can you start your day feeling balanced, peaceful and calm?

You get to decide how to start your day. When you create a routine that sets the tone for the rest of the day, you’ll feel more balanced as you start the day. This energy can then follow you into your morning at work.

These are the 3 Energy Healing Habits I recommend to my clients to start their day.

Be intentional with your energy.

Set your alarm clock for 10 minutes before you have to get out of bed.

Allow yourself to wake up and then use this time to:

Meditate
Bring in White Light
Set intentions for the day
Bring in abundance
Affirmations such as I am statements – I am peace, I am calm, all is well

If you allow yourself to wake up by doing things that are going to balance your energy, mindset and body, you’ll feel more calm and less rushed as you start your day.

2. Be intentional with your morning routines.

Give yourself ample time to wake up and step into your day. Try no technology the first 30 minutes you are up to allow you to be very present in your morning routines. Don’t rush through and get it all done fast, give yourself time to nurture your body for your workday.

Wash your face, apply your serums and moisturizer/sunscreen. Be grateful for the day ahead of you, for the things you GET to do. Appreciate your face and it’s features – your eyes allow you to see, you mouth allows you to eat, your nose allows you to smell, etc.
Get dressed. Choose a color that supports how you’re feeling. Appreciate your body (instead of judging it). Be grateful for your body as it allows you to do the things you want to do.
Prepare and drink your morning drink. DO NOT just gulp it down. Hold the glass or mug. Appreciate what you’re drinking. If it’s a steamy beverage, breathe in the steam. If it’s room temperature or cold, feel that in your hands. Think about your day – what are you excited to do? What is new? What is habitual? Do you need to schedule another break into your day?
Eat your breakfast. ENJOY the food, actually chew it and taste it. Be grateful for the food that is nourishing your body. Breathe. Eat. Enjoy. Don’t just grab junk or skip eating all together. What you eat here sets the tone for the rest of your eating habits that day – especially if you didn’t get any protein in your body.
If you exercise in the morning, be intentional with it. Release any stress or worries as you workout.

By being intentional with your morning routine, you allow yourself to start in a balanced place physically, mentally and energetically. Which is very different from jumping on your phone to check emails, messages, social media and now you’re running late so you’ll grab your drink and food and go. Very different!

3. Be intentional with your thoughts.

Do you take time and energy to actually think about WHAT you think about your day? You should try it. How do you feel about what you’re going to do today? Do these thoughts support you or sabotage you? Most likely, you have certain things you’re going to have to do today no matter what – might as well approach them with the best energy you can.

Your tasks – what are you excited to do? What do you dread? How can you take on less?
Who you’ll interact with – how do you FEEL about this? What can you do to create the best outcome?
The goals you will reach – any big goals you’re going to reach today? Any small ones to start taking to reach bigger goals?
The impact you will make – what difference are you making with your team? Your friends and family? In the world?

Pay attention to HOW you FEEL about the things you have to do today. They’ll let you know what is going to be easy and what will be hard for you. You want to address the energy around the things that are hard for you to make them easier.

Creating a life you LOVE means not rushing through the day and this starts with having a morning routine that sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Part of your success in creating a morning routine that will start your day off right is balancing your energy when it gets off. Here’s an energy clearing meditation to help you stop stress, anxiety and bad energy. Here’sa meditation to help you raise your vibration.

Now that you know how to create a more peaceful morning routine, tell me below what you’re going to do differently tomorrow morning. I’m cheering you on and can’t wait to hear how you raise your energy vibration in the morning and how it impacts the rest of your day.

Stop Hustling and Start Living

How long have you been hustling?

Maybe the better question is – how long have you been overworking?

As a high performer, hustling has become a lifestyle for getting things done and taking on more than is humanly possible or realistic. It’s causing people to feel stressed out, exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and this can all lead to burnout.

There are so many quotes that glorify husting. Company cultures often encourage it after all, they have a financial benefit of paying you to do the jobs of 1.5-2 people. And if you’re an entrepreneur – you’re told to hustle so you get there faster. Regardless of how you got stuck in the hustle, know this – the hustle is a SHORT TERM solution.

You can do anything for a SHORT

period of time.

When it comes to hustling, you want to look at what are you personally losing by being stuck in the hustle?

As an entrepreneur with over 2 decades working as a Spiritual Medium & Mentor, I spent a lot of time in my career hustling – which really is just a glorified way to say I was overworking and even more specifically, I was proving my worth. I’d push myself so hard that something would happen to literally force me to stop and slow down. I did this twice before I finally realized – ah, I can’t do this anymore -and I haven’t.

My first hustling aka overworking experience happened my freshman year of college. I was working 3 jobs to put myself through school and I got mono which meant bedrest for weeks and I had to go back into work slowly with a full course load.

You’d think I would have learned, but I didn’t. I kept pushing myself in my work as a Spiritual Medium and Mindset & Energy Coach to help more people. When I wasn’t working with my clients, I was working at a spa to help more people. I was also helping my husband in one of his businesses. Plus I’m a mom and stepmom so if the school needed help, I was there volunteering. I was on a fast path to burnout but I injured myself first – I tore my Achilles Tendon and that forced me to rest my ankle for weeks.

It took me years, but I finally realized that when I push myself to do more, be more, help more, make more, more, more, more…the person I’m really hurting is myself. Can you relate? How is hustling or overworking affecting you? How is it affecting your relationships?

When I used to hustle, I didn’t let it affect my family time or time with my husband. So what did it affect? My personal time. I didn’t have any and most of my clients come to me doing the same thing. I would take time out of my sleep or things that I really wanted to do for me. And of course this just led me to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with a tinge of bitterness – but I was the one creating this reality for myself.

How do you go from Overworked to Living?

There are 4 areas I like to help you focus on shifting. I could spend hours talking about this, so I’ll give you 1 tip for each section that you can start implementing immediately.

1. Time

The best way to get more time is to create a work/life balance. Not some imaginary, mystical idea but create boundaries around the time and energy you put into your work whether you work for someone or you’re an entrepreneur.

Create boundaries around your work and don’t let it go into your personal time. Work your allotted work hours and be done. There really isn’t a reward for you to go over and beyond. If you keep overworking, you seem to be the one rewarded with more work that others can’t or won’t do. When you’ve done your work for the day, you’re done until the next day.

2. Relationships

The second area is RELATIONSHIPS. Make time in your schedule to spend with people that bring you JOY. Spend time with people that you love doing things that make you happy. Your memories will last a lifetime, so make lots of fun ones. You’re here for more than your work – no matter how much you love it or how good you are at it.

3. Energy

The third area is ENERGY. Make self-care a priority daily. Often high achieving women say, well I get my hair and my nails done. NO- this isn’t giving you back energy. Think of self-care as a way to recharge your energy. Get enough sleep at night, take naps when you need them, eat the right food for you, exercise, energy work and meditation are all things that will help you recharge. Think – does this give me energy or drain my energy.

4. Mindset

The fourth area is MINDSET. I know – your mindset is amazing – except your mindset is what is driving you to overwork and hustle. What is driving or pushing you to do more? Why do you push yourself so hard? Why are you the one who gets it all done when no one else can? Get to the root of what is driving you so you truly can relax and live this amazing life you’ve worked so hard to create.

My passion truly is helping high performers and achievers to go from overwhelmed and overworked to operating at your next level. You can schedule a Connection Call with me to see how I can support you in achieving this.

How to Handle Emotional Triggers in Relationships

You feel fine…and then out of nowhere you’re triggered. Someone says something or does something to you that has you spiraling. Often out of control.

Someone has hit an emotional trigger.

How did you respond? Did you say or do something you regretted that you can’t take back? Or did you feel it was justified because they hurt you?

What if I told you there is a way for you to handle your emotional triggers so that if someone said or did something that triggered you, you’d be able to recognize what is happening in the moment and create a different result?

What is an emotional trigger?

An emotional trigger is energy that you are holding onto from a past hurt. Someone said or did something to you that you didn’t like and energetically you are holding onto that experience or trauma.

It lays dormant in your energy until something reminds you of it and you find yourself angry, upset and often out of control. You are acting from that trigger energy.

The person receiving this energy from you often has no idea what is happening or why.

When you are triggered – how do you respond?

Do you scream, yell, throw things, run away. What is your response?

What is THEIR response? Were they shocked, hurt, upset, surprised?

Here’s the thing about triggers. People DO NOT know what your triggers are unless you tell them.

The majority of the population cannot read your mind. They can’t take hints. You have to tell people, I’m struggling with this, or healing this. Do not expect them to just know. You don’t know other people’s triggers, how can they know yours?

You can set a boundary if it’s a deep emotional trigger that you haven’t healed or started to work on yet.

How to Handle Emotional Triggers in Your Relationships:

1. Know your triggers.

You may not like it when someone takes your things, eats your food, makes a comment about your appearance, if you see any kind of abuse happening to another person.

What are your triggers?

If you don’t know what they are:

What did you feel last time you were triggered? Uncontrollably angry or upset
Why did what the other person do to upset you?
What from your childhood are you still angry and upset about decades later?
How does this affect your life today?

2. Tell your loved ones what your emotional triggers are.

Let those that need to know what your triggers are, how you’re working on it and how they can support you.

If they are truly there for you, they will support you and try not to trigger you.

If they intentionally go after your triggers, that is a relationship to re-examine. That’s not healthy.

3. Heal them.

Triggers are energy that you have specifically stored in certain areas to deal with later. The best way to start to heal them is to start to heal the energy you’ve been storing in that space.

This short video walks you through how to start to heal your emotional triggers.

Recognize triggers when they appear

It is your responsibility to keep your energy clear and aligned. No one else can do that for you. Emotional triggers are your SIGN that something has to heal and it’s coming to the surface so you can heal it.

You will find that this isn’t a one and done energy clearing. Emotional triggers are often stored in layers and they are removed in layers as it’s time for you to be free of them. How will you free your energy today?

#1 Secret to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Are boundaries a scary thing for you to set in your relationships?

Boundaries have a negative connotation for many people. So instead of setting a boundary, they will ignore the problem. But what happens when you ignore your relationship problems?

They grow and you continue to get more and more frustrated. They become the big elephant in the room that everyone can see but no one talks about. This is a problem that does not magically go away on it’s own. Remember, unresolved relationship problems will continue to grow, they need to have an intervention.

As a Spiritual Medium, one of the fastest things I watch pull you out of balance is relationship problems. They affect so many areas of your life so quickly and leave you spinning. Literally.

Relationship problems affect your whole life but you’ll most likely notice them affecting your stress levels, how much sleep you’ll get and how much or how little you’ll eat. They can even affect your performance level at work and make you moody around those that are trying to support you. You don’t want your relationship problems running away from you and you can solve this with healthy boundaries.

What is the purpose of a relationship boundary?

Boundaries protect your energy and your relationships.

Boundaries let others know what is okay and what is not okay with you. Here’s the thing about boundaries, what is not okay for you may be okay for someone else and vice versa. But no one knows this unless it’s verbally communicated. Boundaries are not set in stone across all of your relationships. They are different with different people.

It is very important that you tell – out loud – not just in your head, what your specific boundaries are with the people in your life.

If you feel like you are being pushy or aggressive, I’m going to bet that it’s because drawing boundaries is unfamiliar to you.

There is NOTHING wrong with telling people what is okay and what isn’t okay for you. Again, if you don’t tell them, they don’t know. The majority of the population cannot read your mind and they’re not good with hints. They need you to be very specific and very clear with what’s good for you and what’s not.

If you set a boundary with someone and they ignore it or make fun of you for it, that’s your red flag that it’s time to re-examine your relationship with this person.

The Golden Rule– do onto others as you want done onto you – applies well here. Not only do you want to let others know what your boundaries are, you also want to know what their boundaries are.

What is the #1 Secret to Setting Healthy Boundaries?

The first step is to SET the boundary. The secret to setting a healthy boundary is that you have to ENFORCE them. All of them.

It is completely pointless to set a boundary and then not enforce it. At that point, it’s like you didn’t even set a boundary.

This is where I see most people fall apart is at enforcing the boundary and that’s why this is the #1 secret to setting a healthy boundary.

Let’s use the example of a child in the candy store. You tell the child they can have 1 piece of candy…and for some kids, setting this boundary is going to be a big challenge, but you set it anyhow for whatever the reason. Reminder – you can tell the reason for the boundary as long as it doesn’t come across as a justification for the boundary. Justifying your boundaries weakens them to the receiver.

The kid comes back to you with a bag full of candy. This is your telling moment. Do you ignore your boundary of one piece of candy or do you enforce it?

If you enforce the boundary and say to the child, “Wow, you found so many great choices. But how many pieces of candy are you going to get right now? One. One piece of candy, so let’s pick out the one you want the most and let’s put the others back.”

The child knows that you set the boundary and you meant it. If the child ignores your boundary and tries to have a temper tantrum for only getting one piece, you have to decide what to do to keep enforcing your boundary. Personally, I know as a child I would have gotten NO candy and I’m sure many of you can relate. Because if I kept pushing the boundary, then there was no reward for breaking the boundary.

But if you let the child get the whole bag of candy because you don’t really care or even worse, you don’t want to create a scene, they’re not going to listen to you when you set boundaries around the things that are really important. Like being honest and respectful with you.

Here’s the thing about boundaries, if you aren’t going to enforce it, DO NOT waste your time setting it. Don’t. You create more problems for yourself and the people in your life will have no idea what you actually want.

When you set a boundary and don’t enforce it, you didn’t set a boundary. Let that sink in.

When you set a boundary and don’t enforce it, you didn’t set a boundary.

You also set a precedent that you don’t mean what you say. Then this quickly becomes a very confusing game of do they mean this one or do they not.

Do you see why the secret to setting a healthy boundary is enforcing the boundary?

No one likes to be confused.

The more clear you are with your boundary setting and enforcing, the smoother things will go in your relationships.

What to Do When they Ignore My Boundary Enforcing?

Sometimes you will come across a person that hears your boundary and they continue to ignore you when you enforce your boundary.

What do you do in this scenario?

This is one of the most asked questions I get about enforcing boundaries – what do I do if they ignore me enforcing the boundary?

The answer is it depends on who this person is, what the situation is and what you want to do.

Boundaries are set to tell people what’s okay and what’s not. So if they’re ignoring the boundary and you are enforcing the boundary, it tells me more about them and the type of person they are.

If someone cares about you and you set a boundary with them, they should honor it. They want to be a part of your life and not do anything intentionally to upset you. That’s what people that really care about you want to do. They don’t want to cause drama and rock the boat to intentionally trigger you.

Boundaries are the hardest to set with family members.

Family knows you better than anyone else and sometimes they have a pattern of knocking you down and picking on you until you crumble. This isn’t okay by the way, it isn’t ok for anyone to treat you in a way that hurts you. It’s just more often than not, the people I hear struggle the most when you stand in your power and set a boundary is a family member who is used to having power over you.

Family dynamics are the hardest. Don’t you just love those family patterns, especially the generational ones! And this is followed by partners that you are in an unhappy relationship with.

Typically the most unhealthy relationships you have are often the ones that struggle with a boundary. If they’ve been able to do whatever they’ve wanted for as long as they’ve known you, they don’t usually want to change that. They want to do what they know, whether it’s healthy or not.

This gives you an opportunity to decide how to handle this:

Do you need to create more space in this relationship? And if you go this route, make sure you communicate with them that the problem is them ignoring the boundaries you have set. If you leave a relationship without saying why, it creates more problems and karma for the two of you to deal with later and I promise you, it’s so much easier to do it now.
Is this relationship still a fit for you? Is this someone you still want to have in your life. Why and why not? Get really objective and make a list and decide if this relationship was for a reason or a season and it’s time is up.
Do you need to sit down and talk to them? It is very possible that no one has drawn a boundary with them before and they don’t know how to respond. They may feel controlled. They may have been the kid that was allowed to get one piece of candy at the candy store but got the whole bag.

Remember:

Boundaries tell others what is okay and not okay in your relationships together. They’re good and you should be using them in all of your relationships.

The #1 secret to setting healthy boundaries is to enforce the boundary. While it is harder to enforce the boundary than to set it, when you enforce a boundary and the other person respects it, it elevates the relationship.

If someone ignores your boundary and you enforcing the boundary, it’s time for you to re-evaluate your relationship and interactions with this person going forward.

Who are you going to start enforcing boundaries with in your life? It’s time!

Now that you know the #1 secret to healthy boundaries, I hope you create more balance in your relationships.

Am I an Empath? What is an Empath & How it Affects You

I feel everything. I am highly sensitive and the people I’m around drain me. Am I an Empath?

This is a very popular question.

Claiming to be an empath right now seems to give you permission to get stuck in exhaustion and overwhelm by picking up on everyone’s energy without any support or boundaries – but it doesn’t have to be that way.

As a Spiritual Medium, I personally feel the energy of the people around me as if it’s my own energy. It allows me to balance and align your energy BUT I’m always on. I have to be able to function in society and so do you.

If I’m always on and have found a way to stop absorbing all the energies of everyone and everything around me – so can you.

If you’re busy absorbing and feeling all the feels of everyone around you – then you don’t have the energy to make yourself a priority and this video is for you.

First of all, YES. You are an empath. Every single person is an empath. Some people are just more open than others. Some people have shut off their empathic abilities because they were too overwhelming to deal with or because of something that has happened and they don’t want to feel it all anymore.

Now that you know that you ARE an empath, What is an empath?

The definition of an empath from Oxford Languages is: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

An empath has the intuitive ability to pick up on the energy of others that are around you. You’ll know how they’re feeling, what energy they’re giving off and if you want to be around them or not. Every living thing on the Earth gives off energy and as humans, you have the ability to read that energy.

The best examples of being an empath are when you can meet someone and know if you like them or not. You can walk into a room of strangers and know who you want to sit with and who you don’t. You can look at someone and know if they’re in a good space or if they’re in a bad space.

You are an energetic being reading the energy around you. But just because you can read it doesn’t mean you have to take it on. You can just read it.

As an empath, You do not have to personally take on all the energy and let it affect you.

Remember this – you are made up of energy. And because you are made up of energy, you are able to read the energy of every living thing and the energy every living thing has given off. Even though you can read the energy, that doesn’t mean you have to do anything with the energy.

As you know, I’m a Spiritual Medium and I LIVE in energy all day, everyday. I have no off switch. Everywhere I go, I’m able to read people’s energy, their past lives, their fears, patterns, beliefs and so much more and I’ve been doing this my whole entire life. I know that what I experience is even more heightened than most people but you won’t ever see me ever walking around saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m so exhausted I’m an empath and I take on all the energy around me.”

I learned a long time ago that just because I can read someone’s energy, doesn’t mean I should. Especially if I’m not working with them and I don’t have their permission to help them. Most people don’t want to be helped. They want to be as they are, even if they’re complaining.

I realized decades ago that if I take on someone else’s energy, I just doubled the energy.Let that sink in. When have you picked up on someone’s energy and still had it after seeing them?

If you take on someone else’s energy, you’re carrying that weight for them. You took on their energy. They will get out of your energy by leaving your space and they’ll actually look around for their baggage – the stuff you just picked up from them to “help them out”. They’ll realize something is missing and they want their baggage back. It’s theirs. It’s like a comfy sweater to them – until it’s not and they’re ready to let it go. The moment they put their baggage back on, the energy has now DOUBLED. You have it and they have it.

How did the energy double?

This is really important for you to be aware of.

When they took their energy back, you were still carrying it. You took it on as your own to “help” them without their permission. You didn’t consciously give the energy back to them. Most likely, you didn’t do a thing with the energy except pick it up and carry it and now you’re just feeling the weight of it. So in that moment, the energy doubled. You made a conscious choice to hold the energy for them for whatever reason. They wanted it back so they pulled the energy back to them instantly. Instantly. But you’re not aware of this and so you’re also still holding it because you made a decision to carry that energy for them.

Now, both of you are carrying this energy unconsciously. They’re fine with the weight of the energy they’re carrying but you’re not. You struggle carrying it because it isn’t yours. You have your own weight that you carry, that you think of as your own comfy sweater. From an energy standpoint, your baggage is your sweater and the baggage you just took on from someone else is a backpack that sits on top of your sweater.

It’s too much. You will feel the weight of the energy. It will lead you to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and stuck. And this is an example of your encounter with just one person.

Imagine going into Costco the week of a major holiday and all the backpacks you carry unintentionally. Or think about the energy you’d pick up after a day at an amusement park or a crowded venue. It’s too much. You cannot keep picking up other people’s baggage. It doesn’t serve you. It actually slows you down and holds you back.

You can READ the energy without picking up and carrying the energy. You can notice that they feel off, sad or that they’re struggling. Most people are struggling and that’s ok. That is what they are choosing to do and until they choose to do something differently, you cannot help them.

Being an empath does not mean you have to be exhausted. It means that you have to be consciously aware of the energy you are allowing into your energy space. You have to be picky. You can’t just allow any energy into your space and if you do, you have to know how to not let it affect you.

Being an empath is not new.

What is new is talking about energy and that you can pick up on or read someone else’s energy.

Yes you are an empath. You have the ability to sense energy. Everybody does. What’s important is are you picking up everyone’s energy just because you can? When you do this, you want to ask yourself, why are you allowing your energy to get entangled and pulled down with the energy around you. Remember – this does not support you or help them. It hurts you.

Start paying attention to what you’re allowing into your energy space.

I cannot tell you how many people come up to me telling me they are exhausted and overwhelmed from everyone else’s energy. But what this tells me is that you need boundaries around HOW you’re using your energy.

Here are some good boundaries for you going forward:

1. You can read other’s energy and not do anything with it. It isn’t yours to handle anyhow.

2. If someone doesn’t ask you for help, they probably don’t want help. If you offer to help someone and they don’t want it, that’s fine. Respect that they don’t need help and you can let them be in their experience as they would like to be.

3. Do NOT carry other people’s energy. It doesn’t help them and it hurts you. It doubles the energy and you don’t want to double negative energy anymore.

Focusing on other people’s energy is a distraction for you. It keeps you from having the time and energy to do the things you really want to do.

How do you KNOW if you are taking on someone else’s energy?

The key is to catch it in the moment. To feel yourself FEELING their energy. It will lower your energy vibration. It’s like using any of your devices, when you start to drain the device, the energy will lower. The same is true for you.

Instead of saying I’m an empath, I feel all the feels and it’s exhausting. Know that you can be an empath and be grounded and balanced no matter what is happening around you. You can be better at your work and relationships because you can tell that someone is off or in a good place. You can read the energy without having to do anything with the energy. This will allow you to stay focused on what you need to do.

I hope you will listen to the tips I gave you in this to help you reclaim your energy as an empath. You can watch this on video here if you’d like.

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